Gallery: every grimy detail on the very grimy Slow Horses Honda Civic

Apple TV+’s smash hit Slow Horses returns for its fifth season, with Sir Gary Oldman reprising his scene-stealing turn as brilliant, lightly grimy MI5 agent Jackson Lamb, managing the ‘losers’ of Slough House.

And Lamb’s Civic is as grimy as he is: shaped by neglect, filled with laziness and rotten Jaffa Cakes, and packed full of… ok fine, charm. There’s something about a car that you literally couldn’t care less about.

TopGear.com has spent a few days in a decontamination room after an exclusive drive of Lamb’s Civic, and now that the fog and curious cough has lifted, here’s what we found inside. Maybe stick a mask over your screen.

Photography: Jonny Fleetwood

Because even cars get cataracts.

Couple of screws loose but it still works.

Somewhere out there, a bollard is wearing a moustache.

Like that when we found it, guv’nor.

They say every scar tells a story. This one’s ‘s***, run’.

Nothing adds character to an interior like spores from half-decade-old Jaffa Cakes.

For those times when you need a mid-gear-shift hit of bacterial infection.

P-p-pick up the wrapper and p-p-put it in the bin.

The EK Honda Civic is a practical hatchback featuring sizeable door pockets capable of hiding your inability to park in the correct area.

They say the cave you fear holds the treasure you seek. Our advice would be to instead seek medical attention.

You say ‘patina’, we say ‘possible conjunctivitis’.