Sad times: the Top Gear Garage is fresh out of Mitsubishi Pajeros

Renowned photographer Mark has been working with Top Gear for many, many years. When not taking photos he’s buying inappropriate cars. Here he shares his addiction with the world

There’s an Australian website called Global Penfriends which enables people to engage in conversation with others from around the world. It’s a modern take on the pen pal model, before the internet came along and made the most innocent exchanges potentially terrifying.

But there’s a much faster way to strike up unwilling conversations, especially if you enjoy having no idea where the topic is headed. Simply list a Pajero Evolution for sale on Facebook Marketplace and let the good times roll. I’m not sure if Pajero is a codeword in the pen pal sphere (and not the Spanish meaning either), but I can tell you that of the 27 messages I received within a week, 22 of those had no interest in the car.

Even those that did took a slightly unorthodox approach – like the man who quite seriously wanted to use Klarna for payment. I don’t think the people at Klarna anticipated a £35,995 Pajero Evolution payment within their business model when offering monthly payments for £120 of ASOS clothing.

Several new pals were surprised at the cost of these rare cars. One explained in detail how he’d purchased an example in 2005 for £8,500... just before his wife left him. I didn’t have the heart to tell him what’s happened to property prices since his divorce.

Not all of my pen pals were quite so chatty, one starting our friendship with ‘Price???’ while another threw in ‘What speed?’ as their opening dialogue. I’m still unsure if he wanted to know the Pajero’s performance or if he was simply struggling to grasp the science of how objects cover distance over time. My favourite new friend, Johnny, asked ‘Wood px?’ which wasn’t a bad offer considering kiln dried logs are over £20 a bag now and I’m years away from any kind of winter fuel allowance.

Selling a car on Marketplace is on par with flying Ryanair. It should never be your first choice, but if you can stomach the antisocial hours and remember that most people on here still struggle to dress themselves each morning, it can be quite entertaining. On the flipside, Car & Classic is the Emirates of used car buying and selling. Within two days of popping the Pajero online, a very nice man called Tim e-mailed, quickly arranged a test drive, followed by an offer we were both happy with. No abuse, no discussion of failed marriages and a realistic expectation thanks to years of owning kit cars and 4x4s. The automotive world needs more Tims.

But I now own not a single Mitsubishi Pajero, which is a little bit sad: this time last year I had three and a half. Rather than dwell, the best thing to do is get back on the horse and find the next awful, niche, money draining automotive escapade to obsess over. So, join me next month for the polar opposite of a £25,000 sensible buyers guide; one that features a 1964 Pro Street Chevy Nova, two UN-spec 70-series Land Cruisers in Cyprus and a re-shelled Megane V6 Trophy with no engine.