Competitive tailgating announced as new Olympic sport
Tidal wave of gold medals for Team GB predicted
Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring
Competitive tailgating has been recommended for inclusion in the 2028 Olympic Games, organisers have announced.
It joins cricket, squash and so-called ‘flag football’ as the disciplines that are set to make their Olympic debut in Los Angeles in five years' time.
Bosses were encouraged by the fact that existing infrastructure could be used - negating the need for an expensive, temporary arena - and concluded that it’d fit more naturally with the Olympic movement than existing sports like shooting or race walking.
There's also hope that its presence in the Games will inspire young people to take up tailgating early, boosting global proficiency and in the long run saving lives.
However there is an acceptance that, for LA at least, Team GB is likely to romp to gold in every single category.
"Let's face it, we might as well post them their medals now," an insider admitted. "The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland's dedication to tailgating goes back to the advent of the horse and cart, never mind the motor car.
"We're still working on the rulebook, but essentially it'll be divided up into small, mid-size and large panel van classes across the mens', womens' and Paralympic programmes.
"Then you've got high speed precision stuff - that'll be held on an interstate or something - and a low-speed discipline based in downtown LA. That'll be twisty and technical.
"There'll also be a sub-class for tailgating while on your phone, which obviously we don't condone. Unless you’re on private land or you've got a really important text message to reply to."
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Meanwhile Team GB bosses are said to be ecstatic, believing the move will significantly boost their medal tally and allow them challenge the USA and China for top spot.
"Incredible news, incredible," said a source close to the executive team. "Forget the legacy of 2012, this is how you inspire a nation.
“It also means we can reallocate millions in wasted funding. I've already rung the basketball lot and told them to sign on.
“The only shame is that tailgating won’t feature in Paris 2024. Can you imagine going nose-to-bumper with the world’s best on the Champs-Elysees? I can’t think of a quicker route to a dame- or knighthood.”