Fluffy dice nearing extinction, conservationists say
Jolly, mirror-dwelling ornament to be wiped out unless action is taken
Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring
Fluffy dice will be extinct within a generation unless urgent measures are taken to reverse their decline, conservationists have warned.
Also known as fuzzy dice, their rise as a cultural phenomenon can be traced back to 1950s America, although it’s still not understood why millions of people started decorating their rearview mirrors with a novelty object with no obvious link to cars or driving or looking attractive to potential mating partners.
That generational bewilderment now appears to be terminal, with fluffy dice numbers entering a downward spiral around the same time the first Millenials got driving licences.
Concern is now so high that they’re set to join the black rhino and giant panda on the list of critically endangered species.
“We are deeply alarmed by the diminishing fluffy dice population around the globe,” said an insider. “Unless we do something now, it's our children who will pay the price.
“Seriously, how is anyone in 2040 going to put up with the interior of a used Mk6 Corsa without some fluffy dice to inject a bit of fun?
“Everyone is worried. The WWF, the RSPCA, Bill Oddie; all of the Springwatch crew to be honest… forget climate change, this is all any of them talk about on the group chat.”
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