London traffic wardens to use VAR on double yellows | Top Gear
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London traffic wardens to use VAR on double yellows

Controversial decision in Japan vs Spain World Cup match inspires further insane pedantry to dish out parking fines

Published: 02 Dec 2022

Here's TopGear.com's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

London traffic wardens will soon be able to call on VAR to determine whether or not you were parked on double yellow lines with microscopic precision, Scotland Yard has said.

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Inspired by the Japan vs Spain World Cup match - in which the winning goal was only awarded after officials had spent several minutes poring over various slow-motion replays of a static white line - the police have decided the technology is exactly what it needs to pull traffic enforcement into the 21st century.

“Marginal line calls are the leading cause of disputes between officers and drivers,” said a spokesperson for the Met, “closely followed by petty excuses like ‘I was only parked there five minutes!’ and ‘Mate, it’s an ambulance'.

“VAR will allow us to cut straight through that once and for all. Either you’re legally parked, or you’re not. In which case give us sixty quid immediately.”

The use of state-of-the-art cameras on the streets of the capital will give video assistant referees something to do on non-matchdays, although critics are concerned any biases carried over from the football could have an impact on drivers.

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“I’m not saying I’m glad Germany are leaving Qatar at the group stage,” said one grinning official. “But if I so much as smell an Audi A5 in a restricted area, I will maul it like a hyena.”

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