Parents line up to put their children in harm's way to test a car feature | Top Gear
Advertisement
BBC TopGear
BBC TopGear
Advertisement feature

The full story of audi's 2023 dakar rally

View the latest news
Sunday 29th January
Satire

Parents line up to put their children in harm's way to test a car feature

An online callout sees hundreds of mums and dads rush to risk their pride and joy

Here's TopGear.com's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

Parents have come out in droves to put their progenies in the high-speed path of about 1.5 tonnes of metal in order to help a stranger on the internet prove how good the brakes are on his new car.

Advertisement - Page continues below

The Twitter user has publicly asked for parents in the Tri-State area to put their kid out in the middle of the street, with the plan being that the $15,000-option carbon-ceramic brakes will stop his car before little Jimmy needs a four-foot casket.

“The spec sheet says I only need 129 feet from 70mph, so there’s no danger at all to the kid because I believe the manufacturer implicitly,” said the Twitter user.

“In my experience, it’s very good at stopping for people of all ages. Brake discs are a life-saving technology that prevent collisions every single day.

“This is completely safe as there will be a human in the car... y’know, to press the brake pedal.”

Advertisement - Page continues below

After an invitation as enticing and legitimate as that, it was really only a matter of time before parents descended on his home, eager to help him win an argument on the internet.

“After three gut-punching rounds of IVF, my wife then had a really difficult pregnancy, and it was touch and go for a while if our son would even survive to childbirth,” said one 35-year-old dad.

“I’ll never forget the day he came into our lives, and, even though parenthood has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, there isn’t a single day that goes past where he isn’t the best thing in it. I love him more than I ever thought possible, and I can’t believe someone like me could ever have a hand in creating such an incredible human being.

“So naturally, he was the first person I thought of to risk his life so I can help a stranger with shares in the car company he’s defending prove that his fancy brakes work.”

Top Gear
Newsletter

Get all the latest news, reviews and exclusives, direct to your inbox.

More from Top Gear

Loading
See more on Satire

Promoted Content

Subscribe to the Top Gear Newsletter

Get all the latest news, reviews and exclusives, direct to your inbox.

By clicking subscribe, you agree to receive news, promotions and offers by email from Top Gear and BBC Studios. Your information will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

BBC TopGear

Subscribe to BBC Top Gear Magazine

Save 50% on a year - just £32.99
subscribe