This is the new hybrid V8 Mercedes-Maybach GLS

This is the new Mercedes-Maybach GLS, and to paraphrase Hans Gruber’s immortal misquote, upon finishing this behemoth, Mercedes likely wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.

Indeed, a new one had to be created to conquer because the ‘Night Series’ edition is apparently “a world entirely of its own”. But we’ll come back to that, because first we must circumnavigate the vast expanse of this refreshed and embiggened Maybach GLS.

Clearly, it’s been facelifted, with new headlights, a new grille, the now-familiar Maybach pattern on the air intakes, a new front bumper, a new rear end, lots of 3D star motifs, and a galaxy (probably) of paint and individualisation options.

The latter bit is of course the primary reason for buying a Maybach – to then buy loads more things you can only get on a Maybach. Like a leather roof liner that’s the largest component produced in Sindelfingen. “In 2026, the roof liner was the most popular and most requested component among Maybach customers.” Of course.

There are new 20in wheels. Or 23in forged wheels. Electric running boards. A revised cockpit with the cosmically massive Superscreen at its heart, rose-gold dials in the display, illuminated air vents, massage seats all round, including calf massaging too, expensive leather, space for two small champagne bottles, a fancy cabin filter… are you feeling entirely unworthy of breathing near it?

Good. You can't. There’s yet more acoustic insulation folded into this new GLS, which means you’ll hear even less of the giant’s 4.0-litre biturbo V8, or its 600 finely tuned horsepowers, or its 627 torques. Though on reflection, can anyone ever hear 600 horsepowers or 627 torques, or just the pulverising effect it has on your body?

In any case, it’ll be fast. Mercedes-Maybach hasn’t specified precisely how fast, but expect it to be ‘very’. It’s mildly electrified thanks to an integrated starter-generator thingy that fills in whatever gaps that haven’t been bludgeoned out by those two turbos and many litres remain.

Naturally there’s a dedicated Maybach driving mode, a revised steering system, upgraded air suspension that ingests data from the cloud and nope that’s not terrifying at all, the option of active body control that individually controls each spring and damper, and lots of assistance. It’ll even park itself.

About that Night Series car. This version comes with 23s as standard, dark chrome exterior appointments, dark aluminium running boards, black and black pearl leather, or ‘crystal white’, a few chosen exterior paint finishes, and “a refined herringbone décor and silver pilasters in an open-pore brown walnut wood”.

Prices haven’t yet been revealed – nor even if it’ll even come to the UK – but the chain kicks off in China where you can order it now, then it’ll move to the US, and then Europe. And then the Milky Way, for there were… well, you get it.