Top Gear TV: the cars of Series 30

Just remember to bring it back in one piece, 00-McGuinness…

Top Gear returns to your screens this Sunday 14 March at 8pm on BBC One and BBC iPlayer.

As much an indisputable Bond car as that little-known ‘DB5’ and the gloriously airborne Tuk Tuk from Octopussy. Speaking of which, the Alfa GTV6 makes an appearance, as does the Toyota 2000GT. True story: they built two convertibles for You Only Live Twice because Connery couldn’t fit into the coupe.

Plus, fancy dress!

For the trio’s mid-life crisis cars, Freddie goes for a TVR, Chris for the tyre-smoking Monaro, while Paddy goes for... a Toyota dressed up as a Ferrari.

"You’ll always get one bloke who buys a certain car pretending it’s something else,” explains Paddy. Looks legit. Ish.

Harris adopts the traditional approach to selecting a suitable off-roader for the Scottish Highlands challenge…

… as does Paddy. Well, as ‘traditional’ as a massive V8 in a pumped up G Class can get.

Freddie meanwhile, may have missed the point somewhat. Want to find out how this ends? Watch the new series. Clue: SPARKY SHOES are involved.

Whom to send to drive a car racing in a series called ‘Extreme’? Why, Top Gear’s very sensible, cautious and risk-averse Freddie Flintoff! Includes a man with a jetpack. Natch.

An emotional one for our Chris, as the trio reminisce on their dads' old cars.

“It’s a lovely film with lots of memories,” said Paddy on the dads' cars film.

“Driving the Cortina was more fun than driving a Ferrari,” explains Freddie.

So, you’ve got £200k burning a rather large and troublesome hole in your trousers and need to spend it on a new car. Step 1: see someone about those trousers, asap. Step 2: buy a Ferrari Roma. Simple…

… unless of course, you happen to know of something called the Alfaholics GTA-R, and your name happens to be ‘Chris Harris’. Ferrari Roma or mad old-new Alfa? Find out who wins in the new series.

It’s the latest instalment of Chris Harris vs the most powerful Lamborghini ever made. Tune it to find out what happens…

Sure, the new GR Yaris is an astounding little hot hatch, but mostly we’re doing this so we can legitimately say HARRIS IN A YARIS. You’re welcome, friends.