Alpine A390 GT - long-term review

It’s not an SUV and it’s definitely not a lithe, featherweight, rear-wheel-drive two-seater that – once sampled – will compel you to sell your organs to obtain one. Alpine calls it a ‘Fastback’, but you can just call it ‘A390’.

Prices for this 2.1-tonne – sort of crossover? Let’s go with that – A390 kick off from £61,390. That’s for the GT spec car, which in a happy coinkydink, is the exact version that forms the basis of Top Gear’s long-term test car.

And it’s a lot of car (you got the whole 2.1-tonne thing, right?) that crucially undercuts one of its big rivals by a fair amount. Without options, a Porsche Macan Electric, for example, starts from £69,800, and that’s for a car with less horsepower and a slower 0-62mph time.

Our test car actually weighs in at a fair chunk more than £61,390 because it’s been filled with a few options. First up, some highlights from the standard-fit menu. There’s a two-tone Alcantara and leather interior, electric massaging heated seats, a 12in central display, a Devialet stereo, CarPlay/Android Auto, lots of assistance, and a heat pump.

Now for the special bits. Alpine has added 21in diamond cut alloys for £1,500 – def better than the standard 20s – hiding Rouge Racing six-pot front calipers (£400), a two-tone black roof (£1,300), the £1,800 ‘Bleu Alpine Vision’ body colour, and 22kW AC charging for another £1,000. That latter is definitely worthwhile.

Then comes an Alcantara headliner (£650), hands-free parking and active driver assistance (£1,500), special Alpine sports seats (£2,000), some ‘serged’ carbon in the cabin (£1,700 combined), and Alpine’s ‘Telemetrics Expert’ for £400.

Add in a French flag on the C-pillar (£100!), an Alpine logo on the steering wheel (£100!), and you’re looking at a total of £72,340. Are all of those options necessary? Wheels, paint, calipers, charging, and the seats, you can certainly make a case for – you’re already in this ballpark so why not play the full game. The rest really depends on you.

Just for reference, add in a set of 21s and a leather pack to a base Macan Electric, and it’s roughly the same price as everything we’ve got on our Alpine.

Oh, and while the Alpine does mercifully come with a row of lovely physical climate control buttons – praise be! – Top Gear’s £72k test car didn’t actually control the climate, at least not initially. Because the AC was out. And whenever you turned the climate control on, a very strange noise emanated from the bonnet – like one of those portable tyre air compressors. Smelt a bit funny too. Not want you want in your - once more for the back - £72k car. It’s since been fixed, mind.

In this heatwave, you can call that a blessed relief.