Mini Countryman JCW - long-term review

It’s wet and wild as I leave Exmoor, blustery and edging into darkness. And I have a realisation. I’m actually looking forward to the drive home in the Mini. Not the motorway schlep, but the cross country miles over the moors, then tracking the River Exe south to Tiverton. I’d just got out of a McLaren W1, and yeah, I’d have far rather driven that home, but with that reloaded on its transporter and hometime beckoning I found myself thinking “oh goodie, I get to have a play in the Mini”.

This came naturally and it made me realise I’d bonded with the Countryman JCW. Because although I’ve criticised it for everything from size to torque steer, it does enough right to convince as a hottish family crossover. Wind it up in JCW mode (literally the only one of the nine I ever use other than whatever it starts in) and it’s got tidy body control, steers crisply and I’ve always liked the way it carries its front end high into corners, doesn’t roll much or cause the loaded front wheel to feel like its tucking under. It reminds me of a Nissan Primera eGT. There’s a niche reference that no-one will get.

So I had a fun drive. Enough of a good time to get me wondering if there was any other £45k family crossover out there that could do the job as well as this. And the only one I could come up with was the Cupra Formentor. But of course no-one rips around in their Countryman JCW do they? And the problem is that when there’s more than just you on board, the news is much less good.

We did a day-out recently, piled off down to the far reaches of Wiltshire, five on board. My kids, with 20 years experience of rear seat comfort declared the Mini amongst the least comfortable cars they’d ever travelled in. Hard seat, harsh ride, completely impossible to scroll on phones apparently (not all of these things are bad). But I get their point. The Countryman JCW isn’t good at relaxing if you’re on a remotely bumpy road. It’s fine on motorways, but everywhere else everyone bar the driver complains.

But it is quiet enough, it cruises well at speed, front seat comfort is good and it’s practical. I’ve talked about this before, but this is the first Countryman that is actually big enough to cope with family use. And although I’ve moaned about the elements of the interior (see report 2), there’s plenty of stowage and once all the shortcuts are set-up it’s easy to use and quick to silence the bongs. Just don’t buy into the lie of using the ‘Hey Mini’ chatbot. It’s utterly useless.

Other misses: I never did get over 40mpg from a tank. My first ever was 38.2mpg, but I never bettered it. Most tanks averaged 33-35mpg. Mind you, the official figure is only 35.3mpg and I beat that pretty regularly. Given fuel prices at the moment, you’re looking at £85 refills after 350 miles. But the biggest issue I have is trundling about at low speed. Engine start/stop isn’t quick enough, the throttle is sharp and the clutch slow, a combination which makes every pull away a lottery of lag ’n’ surge and you look like a complete amateur. This is stuff that BMW/Mini usually integrates well. Not here.

I went into these six months and 6,000 miles feeling pretty sceptical. I really didn’t like the faux-sportiness of the try-hard exterior (I still don’t), the quad exhaust pipes and that earmuff arrangement that makes it look like it wants to be a Canadian lumberjack, but now at least I know it has the chops to back it up. I like the app. I like how the rear seats spring down when you fold them. The motorway lane keep is well judged. Nothing fell off or went wrong. It’s well made.

Above all this, the biggest Mini ever, still feels like a mini-Mini. It’s got the same energy. It doesn't feel lazy in your hands, but bright and shiny. It’s got something to say for itself. And in a world dominated by endlessly bland crossovers, that matters.