"The best of its kind": why the Porsche Cayenne Turbo Electric is the best performance e-SUV

It’s not hard to do, either – just spin the mode selector on the steering wheel into Sport Plus, lean on the brake, mash the throttle and bear down on your core muscles like you’re about to give birth.

Photography: Alex Tapley

Remember to do that. Mainly because when you release that brake, your head ricochets off the headrest and the world explodes into a torqued blur of startled scenery. You can feel your bones and organs shift in their foundations of flesh, stomach flipped up and back.

It proves that you can’t beat electric for instant torque and that surprised photographers can come up with horrifically inventive swear words. Why? Because that’s 0–62mph in 2.5 seconds from a car that weighs 2.6 tonnes and has the visual solidity of a Georgian terrace. Worryingly, I suspect it’s actually slightly faster than the specs. To put that into perspective, that’s the same official 0–62mph time as a 911 Turbo S. There’s not a jot of wheelspin or scrabble either – even on winter tyres – just an initial jolt and then endless push.

It does soften after about 100mph, but that’s only because the weight of acceleration settles in your chest like a lungful of water. Pleasant? No. It’s more violent than thrilling. But if you want to make someone shut their mouth with an audible clack of teeth, this is the car for you.

There’s more to this car than the standing start uppercut, though. It just takes a little while to figure out – it’s not an instant win. For a start, subjectively, it’s not the prettiest of things. Not a car that would lend itself to visual compulsion, let alone addiction. More cohesive than fashionable, this is where Porsche’s practical side is allowed dominion over its sporting reputation.

Parked up on the side of a street in Germany, it’s muscular and solid, but not swoon inducing; good from the back, convincing from the side, lightly generic from the front. But what isn’t fashionable can’t go out of fashion, and Porsche likes to play conservative.

Yes, there are pop-out blades in the rear wheelarches on the Turbo that extend past about 60mph to lengthen the aero profile and aid efficiency, yes there are vents and strakes and shuttered grilles, but for me, the illuminated rear lightbar and ‘Porsche’ logo relate too hard to other cars from the same group.

It’s more Porsche on the inside, weirdly. Dominated by a big swoop of OLED dash screen in the middle that bends towards the horizontal of the centre console. There’s a set of tiles in the curve – you can programme the ones you want – accuracy of poke helped no end by the wrist rest that Porsche refers to as a ‘Ferry Pad’.

Up front is a driver’s display which can be configured to pretty much anything you like (the traditional five dials is the best), the passenger screen stretching across to the other A-pillar. There’s big space in the rear seats, electric everything, an electrochromatic panoramic roof, mood modes (which alter the colours, aircon and ambient vibes) and more information than you can shake a digital hierarchy at. Basically it’s got everything you need.

And some things you don’t. Well, not often, at least. Cruising down the derestricted autobahn, the Turbo is ultra stable at 100mph, almost boring. A full ankle of throttle and it scythed into a limiter at 162mph – blatantly capable of much, much more. Which is deeply impressive for an EV, even if it does make it greedy.

According to some back of envelope calculations, the Cayenne was doing just less than 1.0mpkWh at full chat, offering up a maximum range from a full battery of 108-ish miles. You’d be stopping every 40 minutes.

The good bit is that if you did happen to have to cruise at well past double the national UK speed limit for any amount of time and you can find a big enough charger, you can jam volts into the Turbo like you wouldn’t believe. Hooked up to a 400-volt ultra rapid in a town called Rust, the Cayenne charged from 10 to 80 per cent in roughly 15 minutes, peaking at 389kW. That’s convenience, and means the electric Cayenne is fast in more ways than one.

But it’s the ‘other stuff’ that makes this electric Cayenne interesting – the bits where you aren’t trying to loosen teeth or strip the range in the fastest time possible. Step back from the extremities, and it’s really rather wonderful. The cabin gets increasingly intuitive the more time you spend with it. Drive down a flowing A- or B-road with more delicate accelerator inputs and it’s not lurid, or spiky, even with nearly 850bhp.

More like fast flowing water before it starts to crash into an actual wave. Air suspension that can be cosseting, firm or off road extended. Even with a bootful of camera gear and three up – the massive 747-litre boot backed up by a 90-litre frunk – it’s got the kind of unflappable composure you want from a Porsche fun bus. It’s actually tremendously amusing, in a slightly disorientating way.

Saturated with mass, but managed into lightness. That’s the trick here: getting a whacking great SUV that weighs this much to faithfully mimic a car two thirds of the weight.

Blasphemous physics with a galaxy of systems at play, a glittering universe of flashing code and decisions made in fractions of a second, from traction control and ESP to rear-wheel steer that makes the car feel like it’s pivoting on castors in a car park. But it’s a tremendously complex neural network that conspires to feel... normal.

Well, normal in the sense that it doesn’t blatantly falsify information; it doesn’t feel obviously interfering. Because the way the Turbo covers ground is extraordinary; the throttle pedal is simply a ctrl-alt-delete of even the longest straights, but the composure and reliability of reaction in the corners makes the Cayenne feel smaller than it is.

The way the turbo covers ground is extraordinary

It’s the kind of car that can make you arrogant, such is the speed and ease of use. Yes, you’re being fed synthetic adrenaline. But there is also choice: accept it and have fun, or sulk.

The result is the same; time spent and miles unravel a tight knot of ability into appreciation. Up in the twisty bits of the Black Forest it really resolves: bluntly, it’s the best of it’s kind. The smell up here is of pine needles and mulch, incoming rain and warm tarmac, wound tight against a background of mountain ozone.

Good roads for drivers. Bad roads for electric SUVs. But not this one. Big drops and thick trees would punish a miscalculation, but the Cayenne never feels ungainly or confused.

It isn’t without compromise. The steering isn’t as articulate or profound in its action as you expect – even in the different modes – and there’s a dense momentum to the Cayenne that persuades wider lines, the weight and size eventually dulling some of the feeling when you attempt too much. Mind you, ‘too much’ in the Cayenne Turbo Electric is some distance clear of other sporty electric SUVs. And that’s the point here.

A Cayenne is a practical, useful Porsche with a side order of performance car. The Cayenne Turbo Electric blurs the percentages with truly outrageous speed, but is still a generous all rounder. This isn’t merely a good thing, it is standout. And for that reason, it’s Top Gear's best electric performance SUV.