'Wouldn't even take it as a gift': why the Pontiac Aztek is a Hall of Fame #Fail

In its years gracing these pages with its trademark combination of industry insight and baseless slurs, FOTC has resisted tackling the Pontiac Aztek. Yes, the early Noughties SUV-thing was irredeemably, violently ugly: what more is there to say? It’s the lowest of low-hanging fruits.

But the thing about low-hanging fruit is, it’s (a) delicious and (b) also literally right there, so let’s tuck in. Here’s something else to say about the repulsive Aztek: GM knew it was a snotter. It knew it was serving up a design that made onlookers physically queasy. During development, one appalled focus group attendee told company bosses, “I wouldn’t even take it as a gift".

Despite this, GM ploughed ahead with the Aztek, desperate to prove that, after years of beige anonymity, it could stand out from the crowd. Dudes! An elephant seal crossbred with a blobfish would stand out from the crowd! That’s not a reason to do it!

The Aztek also did for Pontiac: the company that had brought us such legendary nameplates as GTO, Firebird and Trans Am. OK, so it wasn’t the only guilty party – pretty much every new Pontiac through the Nineties and Noughties helped stick the knife in – but the gruesome Aztek certainly inflicted one of the deepest blows. A minger and a murderer? All-time Hall of Fame #fail.