The BMW M5 Touring is back with big power, a huge boot... and massive kerbweight

Today is a big day for anyone who doesn’t really remember 2007. Because this is the first time you’ll remember a new BMW M5 Touring entering the world. They don’t come along every year, these things – this is only the third M5 Touring model ever to leave the BMW factory. And everything about it is ENORMOUS.

The stiffened body is five metres long and almost two metres wide. The boot offers a 500-litre cargo bay, until you flip down the split-folding rear seats (not quite flat) and uncork a 1,630-litre chasm riddled with lashing points for securing your outdoor lifestyle equipment. Is it just us that thinks the blocky, stocky Touring wears the ‘M5’ mods better than the dumpy saloon?

Underneath, it naturally shares its oily and volt-y bits with the latest M5 saloon – the first plug-in hybrid M5. The first plug-in hybrid M car, in fact, if you ignore the XM. Which we, like most buyers worldwide, are more than happy to.

That means at the opposite end to your wake-wind-board-surfing-e-bike, there’s a 4.4-litre twin-turbo V8 spooling out 577bhp. Yes, that’s less than the old M5’s V8 (because BMW has one eye on meeting tougher emissions laws in the future). But it’s then boosted by an electric motor in the gearbox that lifts power to a combined 717bhp and 1000Nm (737lb ft).

Now, you could go gawping at the fact it’ll do 0-62mph in 3.6 seconds, or 0-124mph in just over 11 seconds. And yes, the top speed can be jacked up from 155mph to 189mph with tactical box-ticking. But what about your jet-power-boat-board-ski lifestyle equipment on the trailer behind? No worries – the M5 Touring can tow two tonnes, though you’d expect the claimed circa-40 mile EV range to plummet.

Even when you’re not hooking up a pleasure craft to the rear hitch, the M5 Touring has a lot of weight to shift. Like, a lot.

Because it’s got switch-offable four-wheel drive, rear-wheel steering, adaptive suspension, an 18.6kWh battery, an electric tailgate and no carbon roof (BMW couldn’t find a supplier capable of making a long enough piece) it weighs 2,560kg. Which is more than a Bentley Bentayga full of luggage.

That’s why the current Audi RS6 Performance is actually 0.2sec quicker from 0-62mph despite giving away 100bhp to the BMW – it’s half a tonne lighter.

Question is, would you rather have the faster car, or rather your neighbours didn’t pour paint-stripper over your £112,000 uber-wagon for doing V8 cold-starts during their lie-in? The hybrid M5 can make at least make a quiet getaway…