Want a 789bhp Mercedes-AMG G63 on stilts? Brabus has you covered

As anyone who’s seen 2012 will tell you: the sea is coming to swallow us all. Maybe. And Brabus has prepared for such an eventuality with this new tricked-out Mercedes-AMG G63 dubbed the ‘XL 800’.

How will it cope? Portal axles! The setup for off-roading/survivalist enthusiasts, the mighty XL gains an extra 229mm of ground clearance over the standard car, now up to a total of 470mm. Brabus hasn't specified wading depths or approach and departure angles, but they are likely to be 'deep, many, and very'. Potholes? This thing'll manage sinkholes.

As if that wasn’t enough, the 4.0-litre biturbo V8 now cranks out a seismic 789bhp and 737lb ft of torque, because of course it does. It comes courtesy of a healthier set of turbos and a revised engine control unit, plus a new stainless steel sports exhaust wrapped in exposed carbon.

Brabus has even filtered said exhaust with a new active sound management system, which may startle your neighbours into thinking a cluster of lightning strikes is upon them. As for performance figures, it’s 0-62 in 4.6s and a vmax of 130mph, the latter being the trade-off for those new stilts.

Then there’s the wide body kit, taking in a new rear wing, blacked-out eight-spoke Monoblock alloys and a roof light bar. There's also a winch - a winch! - able to claw up to 4.5 tonnes, and a second dose of carbon in areas like the front fascia and rear door.

The interior gets lots of hand-stitched slate grey upholstery teamed with ‘Double Cube’ quilting. There’s suede finishing along the pillars and roof, and a most excellent ‘launch’ button which flickers the exhaust's outer rim with red colouring when the launch control is activated. Very cool, that.

The price for this apocalypse-proof behemoth? Just shy of £544k (€639,298). Might be cheaper to build a bunker and flood it with a lifetime’s supply of tiramisu, we think.