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Hand yourselves in, the Suzuki Jimny police car is here

Criminals stand no chance against the doe-eyed loveliness of a small Suzuki

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Italian criminals, beware: the Carabinieri has a new weapon in its armoury you’ll be simply powerless to resist. Yep, after years of deploying quick cars to catch the wrongdoers of this world (well, Italy) – from 500bhp Alfas to actual Lotuses – it’s gone down an unexpected route. A 100bhp, aerodynamically questionable route.

Internet, meet the Suzuki Jimny police car. Delinquents, prepare to surrender in front of the cutest doe eyes in all of motoring. In a move not unlike ditching a big scary police Alsatian in favour of a basket of puppies, the Carabinieri seem intent on melting miscreants’ hearts and saving all that tiresome bother of actually having to chase them down.

Because unless a chase takes an unexpected turn up a small mountain or into a ravine, we’re not sure which getaway cars wouldn’t, um, get away from the little Jimny.

The enforcement makeover hasn’t seen the dinky little 1.5-litre up front gain any power, y’see, only the wee Suzuki’s roof acquire some flashing lights. They’ve been fixed – somewhat brilliantly – by a company called the Focaccia Group. Ten have joined the force, alongside 55 similarly appointed Suzuki Ignises.

“Carabinieri chose Suzuki to give mobility to women and men engaged in the territory to the defence of respect and correctness, both on road and off road,” reads a not at all terribly translated statement, while another adorably describes the Jimny as “the small one of Suzuki’s house”. Yep, our heart just went all fuzzy too, and we’ve immediately handed ourselves in despite the fact we’ve committed no crime. It’s working already.

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